Feeling Depressed..

What happened to me today...
Feeling so depressed suddenly...after I heard that someone is leaving..
And she wanna see me so much...She saw me b4 in msn...But I still dun have the confidence to meet her yet...so i kept avoiding her..

It was jus last friday night...Ken, my couz was helding a bbq party...
He invited me...so I accepted his invitation...
I never thought she was also coming for the bbq party...
She kept finding me in Ken's house and I kept hiding ...
I had a hard time trying to avoid and hiding from her...
Finally the bbq party ended..I felt so relieved but I heard my couz said she's going to London tommorow so she wanna see my face for the first time and for the last time very badly...
I feel so bad about it...I should have met her and talk with her ...Why can't I do that?
Why !!!
Damn ! I'm such a jerk...why couldn't I accomplish her little wish? When she had gone then only I wanna find her back...It's too late...too late...